C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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