i would punch a child for taco bell
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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