idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
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he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
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His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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