It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
