i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Even my vagina gasped.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize