Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
