so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
