I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
