Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
