im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
