Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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