I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
