i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
