Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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