And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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