the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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