Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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