got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
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He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
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Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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