Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
