Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
