I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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