Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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