..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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