rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
