Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
