Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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