the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Two words: nipple clamps
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