hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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