Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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