So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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