I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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