He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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