We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
