i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
