I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
