Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
