I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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