just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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