No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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