Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
