were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
sex in a hospital.. check
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
