Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
