my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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