Your tits are I can't wait for
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
