Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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