you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You took a bar mat shot.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
