Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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