you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
