my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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