I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
