How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize