I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
