At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
