Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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