He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
