dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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