we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize