Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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