Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
