and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
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I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize