Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
