I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
are you so shy because you have an std?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's official drugs can't kill me
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
