Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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