if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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