is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
