Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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