happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
