She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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