Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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