He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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