I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
