She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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