i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
